Post NCLEX Stress Disorder

First posted on February 27, 2008 at Friendster blogs.

I thought 22 was my lucky number.

February 22, 2008, the day I got my mail from Board of Nursing in Saipan (that's in Northern Marianas for the ignoramus).

I did not PASS the NCLEX. Well, I already have a feeling before I won't make the cut but now, I have the hard copy. I am seriously thinking of having it laminated. It is my first time to fail an exam. (excluding ofcourse la salle, ateneo, UP college entrance examinations)

My folks, like most middle-class parents, were disappointed.

While waiting for the NCLEX result, it seems that my father is already planning the loans he will be applying soon which I am the one who will be paying when I'm already in the land of milk and honey, and britney spears.

It also seems that my mother was already anticipating then that she will be receiving her retirement pension soon aka allotment from my work worth $30 an hour.

But reality kicks in. I did not pass the NCLEX.

My parents told me, "Bahala ka na sa buhay mo..."

But ofcourse, I know what they really meant was that I'm an investment gone bad but I need to take the NCLEX again but now, I'm paying using what I am earning now as parttime Clinical Instructor.

It makes me realize that is this the price of raising me in a bubble? A life where I was expected to do good in everything because everything is already provided and I don't need to work my ass just to get through my studies.

Then, what is the difference between raising a child and hog raising? The feeds perhaps.

I am not saying that my parents are EVIL, like most Filipinos in Metro Manila think of our president, but I believe that parents should integrate empowerment in raising their children.

I know that parents will do to their best to prevent their children from making the same mistake that they made before but if their children did make their own mistakes, the parents, with their guidance, should let them handle the responsibility.

Nevertheless, I never consider myself a FAILURE because I did my best, though in a cramming way.

With that mistake, I learned my lesson the hard way and I am moving forward my way.